How Sparky got his nickname

Posted on May 16, 2012 by bigvalleylonghornranch

How did Sparky get his nickname you may ask?  That goes back to hot July afternoon some years back. Our old used lawn mower finally kicked the bucket so I promised the Mrs. I would get her a new one. Actually being a conservative (tight wad) I got her a used one; however it was new to her because she hadn’t used it yet.  Everyone knows that when a previous owner gets rid of something used there is a reason for it of course.  This one had a wiring problem.  Well, I was too busy to fix it, the grass was getting taller and the wife was complaining the lawn looked like a hay field.  So the pressure was on to let the hired man fix it.  Well I just assumed that everybody knew that when you work on electrical wiring that you disconnected the power source first.  NOT Sparky!  Alias Bright Eyes, smoky hair Sparky likes to learn by hands on.  No big deal though.  It wasn’t nothing five hours in the local lawn mower repair shop couldn’t fix.

Everybody has an action figure hero; Superman, the Lone Ranger, or Wonder woman.  We have Sparky.  For who else could we get to keep inventory of the moths that visit our porch light.  I don’t have time; I’m too busy trying to tag calves.

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Sparky vs. a cow named Nuisance

Posted on May 10, 2012 by bigvalleylonghornranch

Sometimes Sparky could be a good source of entertainment. One cold December day we were cleaning the steer lot. This one particular steer, we called Nuisance. For some reason Nuisance always wanted to play games with us. He trained us to expect it. He was a problem child since the day he came to the farm. Every time we went through the gate with the tractor, he would make his break for the gate. He wouldn’t run very far, only about 40 feet then he would just stand there and make us put him back in while trying to keep the rest of the cattle from coming out. This particular day was no different. We were ready to drive out of the lot, so we checked to see where Nuisance was. With all the other steers in the lot, we really weren’t sure where he was so we made a run for it. Before Sparky could get the gates shut Nuisance beat him to the draw. The day before it had snowed and the wind had blown drifts around the corners of the buildings. Nuisance stopped and stood at his usual spot. The other steers in the lot were eying the open gate. Nuisance was eying Sparky. Sparky was trying to calculate whether he could run around Nuisance and chase him back through the gate before the other steers decided to make their move. I was ready to jump off the tractor and help if needed however I could tell Sparky was actually thinking this situation out. To get around Nuisance, Sparky had to run around a round bale of hay and through hip deep snow in between the bale and the corn crib a few feet away. From the tractor cab it looked like a game of chess.

Sparky made his move and went running around the hay bale, hit the snow drift, lost his balance running into the bale then back across to the corn crib back through the drift and into the bale again before regaining his balance. He looked like he was stuck inside a pin ball machine. Nuisance just stood there casually watching this spectacle and then casually walked back to his pen looking totally satisfied with himself. This made my day! I was still laughing about it when I went to bed that night.

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True Story…I can’t make this stuff up

Posted on April 26, 2012 by bigvalleylonghornranch

One of my first jobs I gave my hired man, Sparky was to nail the floor boards down on a loft we were putting in the old barn. The joist were already in place, so thinking it was impossible to mess up, I left Sparky to the task as I went on to other chores. An hour later, I came back to check on Sparky and noticed nails sticking down through the boards every where not even hitting the joist. I asked how can you miss them when you can see them. Frustrated I left again scratching my head. Later I returned and to my surprise not another nail had missed the joist. I asked what happened. To this Sparky replies; I figured out that if the nail drives in hard all the way then it hit the joist. (Important tip for all you contractors)

Even a simple task such as having Sparky digging a post hole can turn into a disaster. How can anyone mess up digging a hole you may ask! For Sparky it comes natural. The post hole was to be dug to replace a post into the corral. I had already cut the length of the boards which was shortened to accommodate the wider gate in the fence. I even started digging the post hole so nothing could go wrong. All Sparky had to do was dig a hole 10” diameter straight down to 3 feet deep. To this task, I now left Sparky unattended. An hour later I returned to find Sparky still not done digging. How deep is the hole I asked? Looking at me like my bubble was slightly off center, he replays; All the way to the bottom. I had left the chain saw setting close by and the ends of the fence boards were bothering him so he cut about 8” off the boards. Now the boards couldn’t reach the post. We couldn’t move the post as it had to accommodate the gate. I ended up finishing the hole, setting the post, and then I had to nail 2X6 boards on the side of the post to nail the corral boards to. Sparky claimed that this would make the fence much stronger. (Important tip for all you engineers)

 

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Part II Continued

Posted on March 31, 2012 by bigvalleylonghornranch

I think back to some of the earlier days after hiring Sparky. I hadn’t realized that Sparky hadn’t much experience in farming or anything else for the matter! I think I probably hired him mostly because I’m a conservative. For those of you who don’t know what a conservative is, Webster’s dictionary defines it as “TIGHT WAD” noun. I since taught him everything I know and he still doesn’t know much???

 

Before hiring someone you should always ask for a reference from their previous employer. Since Sparky was my first hired man I didn’t even think to ask! One day he told me himself, however. A few weeks later I bumped into his former boss and was telling him about Sparky working for me. He thought that was comical and started telling me about the first day at work at his farm. It was milking time and he asked Sparky if he knew how to wash cows. YEP he knew. So he told him, to go down each row and wash the first and the third cow in each row. After assembly the milkers he walked into the barn. And there was the first cow jumping around in the stanchion soaking wet with Sparky scrubbing its back. It really was his employers fault though, because he should have been more specific and told him to wash the utter not the cow. The next day Sparky’s job was delivering coffee to the rest of the workers.

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From Larry’s Desk: Part II

Posted on March 23, 2012 by bigvalleylonghornranch

Being an opportunist as I am, I’m always on the lookout for bargains, beneficial shortcuts and ways to make my work easier. The latter of course should be the priority of all of us. For many of us it is as simple as having the neighbor kid mow the lawn or maybe having a hired hand.

Having a hired hand however, can sometimes be a challenge of its own. The very words hired man sends quivers up my spine. Kind of like when you hear someone say “Here comes the Boss’s kid.” Just take mine for instance. “Sparky” the name has been changed however to protect the innocent. Sparky has some strong points like loyalty, easy going and a steady worker. Sometimes he’s so steady you can hardly see him moving. His favorite pastime is watching the grass grow and observing the moths circling around the porch light. This however changed one June day this summer.

We were out checking the cows and heading up the Bull Branch toward the river bluffs. All of a sudden I spotted a Black Angus cow with a young calf that hadn’t been tagged yet. We were just a short distance behind her in the S10 pickup and she was just about to go through the gate that divided the pastures. Being an opportunist the bright light bulb thing came on in my head kind of like the Ford commercial, or is it Ford tough, or build like a Rock? What ever! We were in a truck anyway. I hit the brakes and shut off the switch and told Sparky to grab the tagger. As soon as the cow went through the gate I swung the gate shut, hooked the chain and grabbed the calf behind the protection of the fence.

About forty steps from the fence old Ma Ma Cow noticed that Junior wasn’t behind her. I had my back to the cow and I was about to tag the calf when Sparky casually replies, ‘Here comes the cow’. I turn around to face a run away locomotive boring down straight at us with only four sagging wires between us. Sparky was the first to react as he sprang into action and ran for the truck. That was the fastest I ever seen him move as he left his shadow standing there by itself. Not wanting to be a part of a train wreck, I followed Sparky’s lead and my shadow over shot the truck after I dived through the window. After regaining our composure, I thought there will be another opportunity another day. So we just sat there trying to decide who was going to get back out of the truck to reopen the gate.

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From Larry’s Desk: Part 1

Posted on March 15, 2012 by bigvalleylonghornranch

Most of us who has chosen the occupation of farming know how much we often get attached to our livestock. We not only care for them, but there is always one who has a special character that seems to us to be a little more human. We tend to give them a name. We like choosing it with as much thought as if we were naming one of our own children.

When I was growing up on the Home Place most every farm along our road had cows, hogs, chickens and sheep. I remember many cold mornings when the folks would bring frozen little new born lambs or calves in and let them warm up on a rug on the kitchen floor. Orphan lambs were always taking up residence in a large cardboard box in the corner until they got older and started jumping out and running around the house.

I remember my Uncle Harold telling me about an older bachelor gentleman he knew who farmed in his area. My Uncle sold real estate and had his farm listed for sale. One day Uncle Harold was passing by his farm and decided to just stop in to say hello. After the initial greeting my uncle asked him how he was doing and he said he had a rough night as he lost one of his calves. He asked “Do you want to see it?” He then led Uncle Harold to a back bedroom where the calf was laying in the bed with its head on a pillow and the covers pulled up and tucked in around it.

I never went to that extreme, however, one cold December I came close to matching it in loyalty to animal husbandry. It was always my job to haul the cattle to the market. This one particular Tuesday morning was bitterly raw with a cold wind out of the northwest. We had a cull cow to sell as well as a week old calf. The cow we put in the trailer but I felt it was just a little too cold for the calf. So, I decided to put it in the cab of the truck with me, where it would be warm for the twenty mile ride to the sale barn. I laid it on the floor board. It seemed satisfied and just laid there quietly. So off we went.

About two miles up the road, the calf decided to go for a walk in the cab. After a few minutes of swerving around the road, driving with my left hand, and wrestling the calf with my right, I finally pulled over. Still not wanting to put the calf in the trailer, I got some twine and tied its feet together. It kicked and thrashed for a while but then it settled down. So, off I went again. All was well for the next ten miles and I was thinking I had it made with the little bovine until I started to smell a very nasty order. Sure enough baby bovine wasn’t going to let me get away with tying him up. He was bent on revenge! He did a number one and two. Then he started to kick and thrash again with his heels commencing to smear the dash and door with yellowish gooey people repellent. Fortunately his bonds held. I proceeded to step on the accelerator roll the window down and drive the rest of the way with the heater on full blast!

When I got to the barn I backed the trailer in and went back and let the cow out and the guy consigning her said one cow and one calf. I was a little surprised and ask him how he knew that? He said the calf is looking out the back window. I turned around and sure enough, there was poopy toes standing on the seat.

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My First Riffle

Posted on March 9, 2012 by bigvalleylonghornranch

 

I bought my first rifle in 1964, when I was 14 years old.  It was a 303 British Lee Enfield, military issue from WWII.  I purchase it from the army surplus store for $25, which seemed to be a lot of money at the time.  I was so proud of that gun.  It was banged up and slightly tarnished.  The iron site on the front was bent and I had to pretend it was sticking up so I could shoot straight.  But it was my gun.

 
That year, 14 of us ventured out to the woods for the beginning of the hunting season.  Back then, deer season was 3 days and if you saw something, you better shoot.  Otherwise, you might not have another chance.  Out of everyone, I managed to get 2 deer and 2 fox.  I was the only one to get anything that year.

 
It’s been a long time since I’ve fired my trusty rifle.  For the past years, it sat in the back of the gun storage.  I could only imagine what that gun has gone through in its lifetime.  I sure if it could talk, it would have amazing stories to tell.  It’s one of my favorite guns.

 

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Fun at the County Fair

Posted on March 4, 2012 by bigvalleylonghornranch

As a young boy, I’ve always felt excited to go to the county fair.  Every fall the fair would drive into town and draw a large crowd.  One game was especially exciting for me – I’m referring to the bulls-eye booth.  The object of this game is to hit the bulls-eye 3 times without touching the paper (there’s a small hole in the middle of the target).

 
I was about 15 or 16 years old when the fair used real .22 long rifles (keep in mind this was 60’s).  On this particular day, I shot the target perfectly on the first try.  The burly booth operator asked me to sign my target and he then placed it above the firing range on a wooden beam.  There it was for everyone to see.

 
My older brother, a competitive sibling, decided he was going to give it a try (thinking it was easy).  He must have spent all day trying to get the tiny bullet through that little hole, but in the end, he was unsuccessful.

 

.22 long rifle

 

 

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‘The Funnel’ Story of a Hunting Shack

Posted on February 29, 2012 by bigvalleylonghornranch

In 1936, Clyde Matthews built a modest chicken coop to harbor his chicks.  Through the years, this chicken coop remained on the farm.  It wasn’t until November of 1975, when a small time farmer, with a dream, bought a few acres of land to call home.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Clyde was attached to this coop (having built it himself) so it wasn’t a suprise that he would want to keep it. Part of the deal included removing the building and relocating it 6 miles into town. There it dwelled until his death.

Sometime in 2004, before the home was sold on auction, I asked his estate for the coop.  Clyde had used the building as a tool and garden shed.  With help from my hired hand, I loaded it up and brought it back home.

My delma came when I had to decide what to do with it.  After special consideration, I felt the best use would be to retro-fit it as a hunting shack.  Originally, there was a chicken door, 3 side-by-side windows, and a main door.  Since the roof was okay, I spent most my time adding more windows, siding, gun rest, shelves, carpeting, seating, and for mobility, I added wheels and tongue (for those who don’t know – a tongue is the join connecting the trailer to the truck hitch).

I loaned my newly renovated shack to my friend Gene in Glen Haven.  Gene eventually built a larger shack to house sleeping quarters.  Once again, the chicken coop came home.  It sat around the house (rent free) until I was able to find the perfect place to put it.  And I found it.  A popular place, we simply call it “the funnel”.

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Winter in Wisconsin

Posted on February 27, 2012 by bigvalleylonghornranch

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Living in the North-Midwest, you have to expect snow every once in a while. Cold temperatures and freezing wind make farming that much more difficult. At some point in the morning, I have to decide whether I stay inside a few more minutes or go out in the snow and feed the cattle. Well, the cows need to eat. It’s not fair to keep them waiting in the cold.

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